Number 7 - The One With My Mother Telling me How to Find The One

My mother loved to putter around. When she does, I make sure to join her because almost always, I will get to hear a story or two about her favorite memories of random objects we come across. Like how a gold brooch was passed down from her mother, and she told me how she felt the first time she wore it; or a particular Chinese dress she was saving for me or my sister in case we will need such a costume (Ella wore it for her grad pic, whilst it barely fit my thigh).

During one of those puttering sessions, we were sifting through her old letters and notes, and I came across her compilation of love letters from my father. He called her Sunlight, she called him Sunshine.  And it was corny, but happy kind of corny, and I decided I wanted that kind of corniness in my life. Perhaps sensing my longing, my mother said, "Someday you will find your husband too, and you will know what it means to have your own Sun."

I told her I have a list of qualities I want in my husband, and I shared a couple of them with her. She smiled her quiet smile and nodded at each one. But when I finished, she told me, "It's good to know what you want, but you also have to be open minded about things you might not know you want."

"Hanapin mo yung parang Daddy mo. Yung ramdam mo ang kabaitan hanggang puso. Iwasan mo ang mga mayayabang, pero huwag din yung masyadong mahiyain. Kailangan may sariling talino, yung kaya ang sarili at kaya ka. Yung iba, dagdag na lang, gifts na ni Lord. Pero humanap ka lang ng mabait, mababa ang loob at matalino na sasamahan ka sa buhay."

I don't know if any piece of advice can get better than that. I am thankful I got to share those moments with her before she passed away, and I am recording it now so that I get to share it with my sister too. Looking at her list though, I think I did well in choosing the One. It's true, what they say about mothers knowing their daughters' hearts. I miss you, Mummy.

No. 6: My Little Sister Wears a Badge saying Burgos for President

I was in fifth grade, my sister was a first-grader. I was running for student council president and making the rounds of our school corridors. My Dad thought up a campaign tagline I learned to say enough to sound believable: "Think Big! Think B for Burgos!"

But no one can deliver it with as much conviction as my little sister did. She made those rounds with me tirelessly; her size 4 shoes squeaking in the clean hallways, her hair tied into 2 braided pigtails, wearing her P.E. uniform and carrying a basket full of badges. She will chirp out the tagline and hold out the basket to everyone we meet.

There were times I felt like she was enjoying the campaign more than I ever did. I am sure though that without her, I would certainly be less enthusiastic about running for a post. Because in all honesty, I didn't care for it. I have no calling for politics, but it was there for me to win and I felt obliged to take it. I would have been happier in the school newspaper, but back in those days, my niche seemed to be in the student council and everybody agreed I was perfect for it. And my sister wholeheartedly believed I wanted to win, and so she keyed her whole heart and soul to the pitch of my ambition.

So if you want to know a secret, here is one: I did not want to be student council president. But I wanted my sister and Dad to be happy. It is a completely selfish reason, one that has nothing to do with service. But I did it for love, and in the process, I learned to love what I do, and who I can be when propelled by such overwhelming belief and support from people like her. It took me time to finally know what I want for myself, and when I did, I wasn't scared. Because I know I am loved and supported every time. Because there is my sister.

It is a comfort ever since, to know that some one, even if it is just the one, who will always believe in me. So to you, your pigtails and crinkled smile, thanks, little sis.